I guess I must have been addicted to tanning, or something like that. Days like today really get me. The sun has been out all day and I still long to be lying in it in the pool. I miss the smell of the tanning oil and the coolness of the pool water while baking in the hot sun. Those memories are my first thoughts always on a sunny day.
Then, the panic sets in.
On days like today I have little anxiety attacks in the car- the sun is coming in on my legs; walking from the car to the building...and there is still that longing to be out in it. I guess because I did it for so many years. I'm even tempted at times to just lay out once. But, I think I'd barf with guilt if I did.
Most people don't understand and have no clue the changes that we have made since melanoma set up shop at our house.
Heck, I don't even understand it half the time. But, it's just what we do. And we hope that we never see it again.
How do you keep those thoughts away? No hat, shirt, or sunscreen can do that.
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