Super Quick Update

Surgery went well today- we are home now and hubby is icing the arm. Funny thing- we had the same nurse! She remembered us (because I got so freaked out and barfy when I saw my incision!) from our April visit. She is super nice- glad to see her again!

Pathology will be back early next week, so now we focus on praying for clear results there. And we focus on healing.

Hubby is feeling good. He looked so cute in the gown. The wait was lengthy, they were behind schedule. We are dinner out on the way home, and even ordered dessert...lots to be thankful for tonight. Love you so much, honey.

Another interesting thing from today is that I contacted a tshirt vendor today that we use at school. He is a graduate of our district, about my age. I told him my idea of the no-tanning pledge, and ran some ideas by him about putting together a t-shirt for this campaign ( I had an idea about the top 10 reasons that Rockets don't tan). He has had 3 bouts with melanoma in the last 10 years; the first one required 3 surgeries to rid the area of the melanoma. I had no idea.

That is far too many folks that we are connected to. It's touched so many lives.

Again, feeling very fortunate today that ours was caught early. Feeling very close to my hubby, as we are doing this together. We will keep fighting together, and we will do our best to educate and raise awareness.  I read so many stories about others who have a more difficult fight, a longer fight, or who were overcome during the fight.

I do not believe in luck; but I do know I'm fortunate. Perhaps I am meant to use my voice (and it's a loud one!) to raise awareness with our students.

Surgery Day

It's finally here- surgery day for hubby. We leave in about an hour to head downtown to hurry up and wait. :) We know the routine, we've done it before. We know it's going to be ok and have no doubts that the results will come back clear. OK, let's be honest here. There are doubts...because we are human. But, it's still scary. It's still makes you nervous. My tummy is already flippity-flopping.

JoJo is at band camp, and Raye was just picked up by grandma and grandpa. They will both be staying the night with them tonight. (Thanks, mom and dad.)Mom and dad came by here on their way back from their derm appointment. The doctor they see is the one I used to see before switching to our current derm. I switched because it became too difficult to get appointments with Dr. M. So, mom and dad tell him I had/have (which is it- is it gone? Do I say had? Do I say have?)melanoma, and he of course, says he remembers me. He then goes on to say he hasn't seen me for 3-4 years (dad and I think he said that to relieve himself of any responsibility, lol). Of course, I've been seeing my new gal (longest we've ever had to wait for an appointment is 4 weeks; was 6 months at the old place!) regularly, and she caught this. Mom and dad go often, and have for years. Neither had to have anything removed today, which is a first!


I say that as I sit here with stitches in my forehead from a punch biopsy on Monday morning.

 

Photo by Raye...

 

I've never had a punch biopsy before. And, the poor gal assisting did not hold my hair up well enough from my forehead. I get home, and remove the Band-Aid (because I have to see it!) and there are 3 hairs from my head stitched into the hole in my head. I try to pull them out- duh, they are not going anywhere. So, I cut them. Crazy... I go back next week to have them out. Do I bring up the hair in my head at that point??? Supposed to keep it covered- yeah, nothing like a huge Band-Aid sticking out on your noggin'. We looked everywhere today for tiny band-aids. They don't make the super tiny rectangle ones anymore (we used to have them in the 70's). So, now I'm just cutting them down .

 

 

OK, enough babbling. Off to the hospital we go. This time, I'll be in the waiting room. Yikes...

 



Melanoma Reminder

We were having dinner at our favorite local hangout this evening, after a day at the Columbus Zoo (more on that later!), when in walked the family of the man living in our school district who as stage 4 melanoma. We attended a benefit earlier this summer on his behalf.

We attended the same high school, although he is several years older than me. I knew his younger sister. I reached out to his mother a few weeks ago by phone, just checking in to see how things were going for them. The cancer had spread to his lungs and his brain. He was undergoing some treatment to try to shrink the tumors. At last check, there was no evidence of disease below his neck. The tumors in the brain were still there, but had not gotten larger.

This man is just a few years older than me. He has 2 sons. He was an awesome high school athlete- if I remember correctly, he was varsity football, basketball, and baseball. To see him struggling to live life is very hard. 

He and his family are on board with helping to educate our high school students and raise awareness. His mother had also passed my name along to another mom in the community who had a similar melanoma to mine. She is also interested in helping. This man's father also had a melanoma removed about 15 years ago.

We have to get the word out. We have to do something. Awareness; prevention; support.

***I really need to come up with a slogan that will work with our community. Our school mascot is a Rocket. Hmmm... Rockets blast melanoma? Rocketing melanoma? I don't know- I'll come up with something.  And, there is a former student of mine who has a photography business. Wondering if I could get him to volunteer his services to photograph the Rocket faces and scars of melanoma (or even cancer of any kind)? Right now I can count 6 folks in our district that have or have had melanoma. I'm sure there are more that I'm not aware of.

I definitely want to get the no tanning pledge for the prom and homecoming. I am sure we could get prizes donated for some drawings for those who sign the pledge and adhere to it.

So many ideas run around in my little head all the time.

OK, I had to throw in a photo from the zoo. Look, I have on my long sleeve SPF50 shirt and my big hat. I work hard to keep those legs pale!

Ignorance is Bliss...

It can be so frustrating at times with melanoma.  It's amazing what people say (or don't say) and how alone you can feel. Another reason why hubby and I are so glad we have each other in this small battle of ours. It truly does help to have that person (kind of like Meredith and Christine are each other's "person" on Grey's Anatomy). This is a learning journey for us as well, and I know it will make us more in tune to what others go through in the future.

 

We don't even feel like it's "real" melanoma after hearing and reading about so many others who are in a much tougher fight than we had. Tonight I showed hubby a link to Addison's Army https://www.facebook.com/Addisons.Army. This little girl is fighting with all she has. She is so young. It breaks my heart.

I try to stress to our girls that we are fortunate- ours was found early. We have been having lots of conversations about them, their habits, the importance of sun protection. It's so nice to have hubby's support and involvement in these conversations. We also talk about others who are fighting for their lives. I think it's important that they realize not everyone who has melanoma has the same story. We even pray together for those people who are fighting.

JoJo has band camp next week from 8-5. She will be taking sunscreen and a big hat. She is totally ok with it. Raye asked for (and I purchased today) a Columbia hat. We were at Dick's Sporting Goods to get JoJo a pair of the UV sleeves. Raye picked out this crazy hat with a flap on the back. She is a hoot. I'll post a picture of her wearing it- she loves it. And, if she loves it, she will wear it. JoJo wore the sleeves today while we played a little tennis. She was concerned that they would make her arms hot, but was pleasantly surprised that they did not. Whew...that is an easy solution for her to cover her arms.

Reds game- notice JoJo has a bandage over her upper cheek from the excision. Hers was not melanoma. Very thankful.

We also ran across some pictures today from our trip to Sand Key, FL in 2012. We were all sunburned. Boy, it was hard to look at. Both kids made comments stating that was the way "we used to live, we don't do that anymore." Gosh, how ignorant we all were back then. As hubby says, we lived like it wasn't going to happen to us.

We had lunch this week with two gals with whom I used to teach. We try to get together at least once in the summer. They were so gracious to me- asking if I needed more shade, was I sure I was ok, should they move another umbrella over? Very sweet.

We have been asked by others what we are doing to get this melanoma? Seriously, someone said that to me...Some people just don't understand how we both could have gotten it so close together. I'm sure there are some who won't even believe it's true.  He cannot wait to get it "cut out" and get on with the healing process.

I have done so much reading this summer. I'm reading some good books this week, too. One is by Joyce Meyer and it's about simplifying your life- I cannot recall the exact title. I need to do this- step back, relax, and stop sweating the small stuff. The other is by Joel Osteen called Every Day A Friday. A friend suggested reading it to prepare to go back to school where the environment is less than stellar. I really need to be a positive force in the building- for myself and my colleagues. The start of school marks the end of our summer, and the beginning of a new year. So, kind of like New Year's resolutions, we teachers get a new start every August. Time to set new goals and plan for the year. Add to that my new Master's program at Miami University- I'll be a busy gal!

Heading to the Columbus Zoo tomorrow, of course I'll take tons of photos. There is also a waterfall near Columbus that I hope we have time to stop at and hike to. This summer I have wanted to hike our area trails and was surprised to find so many waterfalls in Ohio. Who knew? So, as the year goes on, I'd like to see as many of those as we can.

Falls at Sharon Woods

 

I also want to walk that 5k race in August. (Oh crap, it's already August!)I'd like to do 1 per month if I can. There is a big one in September for Ovarian Cancer awareness that some of us from school are planning to do. My art teacher friend just signed up for the Columbus Half Marathon in October....that is a little too ambitious for me! But, she will do great!

Taking this journey one day at a time, while learning from past mistakes and looking forward to many healthy years to come.



Woodland Mound Park- it's a Charley Harper cardinal!

 

 

 

My scar today- over 3 months after surgery. The original site was no larger than those other moles that remain.

Thankful for All Good News Today!

Yes, it was all good today!

No one at the oncologist's office can believe that both hubby and I have melanoma that is nearly identical. Everyone there was cracking jokes about it being a "family affair". We were right on with our predictions of the type and stage (1A) and all that will need to be done is the wide local excision. There is no lymph node involvement, which is a crucial piece. The surgery will take place next Wednesday.

All the difference in the world knowing what to expect. Today was so different for us than the same visit we had in April. We are confident today; we are knowledgeable today; we are in this together.

So thankful that we have good news.

Sun Savvy at the Zoo...

So, I love our zoo here in Cincinnati. It's more than a zoo, don't ya know? It's also a world renowned botanical garden. Of course, I have spent many hours there (part of my original Master's degree program through Miami University actually held classes at the zoo). I've seen many cool things, learned from awesome people, and had many opportunities here. Yes, I actually got to get  into the elephant enclosure and touch the elephants. I've been behind the scenes of several exhibits and have even seen some secret animals that are not on display...When you grow up in Cincinnati, you just assume that everyone has a great zoo like ours! The zoo is situated smack dab in the middle of a city. But, you'd never know it once you are inside.



Photo by JoJo...the new Africa exhibit.

 



We try to go as often as we can. With the awesome weather we've had, we decided to head down there on Sunday morning. Yes, we skipped church...sorry. We like to get there at 9 when they open. We have found that is the best way to do it- less crowded.

So, because the sun was out (even though it was only in the low 60's) we all put on the sunscreen...and the hats...and the shades. Everyone is on board- even hubby, who usually is reluctant. A melanoma diagnosis will do that, ya know. I usually feel like a big dork with my big hat. I love my hat and I have the same exact style in several colors. But, I cannot lie; it makes me feel like a goon. This is because I'm usually the only one wearing a hat. Short chunky gal with large hat- you get the picture!

Sunday I was amazed. It was like an epiphany. As soon as we walked into the zoo, I started to notice all the other people who were putting sunscreen on themselves and their kids. Almost everyone had on a hat of some kind. It was amazing. People without hats were the minority. I was not alone. There were women with bigger hats than mine. Now, mind you there were very tanned women with hats on, too. But most of the folks we saw appeared to be trying to be very sun smart. I was happy to see all the little ones covered up as well. Lots of Coolibar wear out there. www.coolibar.com

This was encouraging to me. Being there, outside, in a sunny spot was tough. I remember feeling the sun on my neck (I was wearing a long sleeve top and long capri pants - I'm short, so even capri pants usually hit me at the ankle) and thinking, "I gotta get out of here, I can't be in this sun." It almost caused me to panic. I am reminded that I have to live my life. I had applied sunscreen multiple times, I wasn't in the full sun- there are many areas of shade as you walk the grounds- and, I am not a mole (the underground living kind, not the ones on your skin!). It is ok to be outside. I just have to be smart about it.

Hubby said to me recently that I'm the palest he's ever seen me in summer. This is our 19th summer. I saw a colleague of mine today who has a pool, and has apparently been living in it. She is very, very tanned. That used to be me. For a moment I envied her. But, it was short lived. I used to look like that- the browner, the better. I lived at the pool. But now, that is not my priority. My views are shifting. My opinion of what is healthy and attractive is changing. I love the attention that the media is giving to the celebrities who are not tan. I often wonder if I'm too tan. I don't mean to be tan, but I don't see myself as pale. I do have a darker skin tone naturally; I don't think I'll ever have that beautiful porcelain skin. But I no longer fear wearing skirts or shorts with pale legs.  At the beginning of summer I still thought that was not a good thing. It's changing.  I have seen all of the doctors at my dermatology office this summer- all 4 of them are female. They are all wearing skirts and dresses. And, they are all very pale.  And they look great. I didn't say anything to my colleague- this time.

As we venture one day closer to melanoma Wednesday, I want to take a moment to write about my people. My girls are so amazing. Both of them have embraced this new lifestyle without much complaint. Next week is band camp, and I worry about our JoJo. She burns easily; she will be out in the sun from 8-5 all week. She has assured me she will wear the sunscreen. I am sending her in a hat and I hope the director allows her to wear it. JoJo had an atypical mole excised in early June on her cheek by a wonderful plastic surgeon. It's healing nicely, but it's a reminder of what we need to do from here on out. Our RayeRaye, she is such a hoot. Today, she spurred yet another light bulb moment. She went out into the back yard to play with the neighbor kids. Raye is a sporty tomboy. She would play football if we allowed it. No, we play lacrosse instead. She was the first to express an interest in the UV sleeves. She wears hers all the time. I think they are an XXS. She loves them and thinks they make her look like a pro athlete. So, she puts on her sleeves and then puts sunscreen on the legs, shades, and her big floppy fishing hat.  Not 10 minutes into their playing a game of ball, I see the neighbor dad come out. He hands a hat to each of his kids and throws a bottle of sunscreen over the fence to them. I love it! RayeRaye is setting the bar for sun protection in the neighborhood!

These two are our main concern right now. We cannot help but wonder if the genetic link is in place.  That is a question we will ask on Wednesday.

My hubby is an amazing man. For almost 20 years now he has not wavered in his love for me. At all- ever. He has always worked hard to support us. The kids and I are his main focus. He would do anything for us. There is no doubt that we are loved.  He is everything to me, and I am fortunate to have him. I am thankful that he has chosen to stay beside me all these years. And, I am looking forward to many more years together to come. I hope that this melanoma business helps us to become closer and to make healthier choices in our lives for the long haul. It is scary. But it isn't as scary when you have a partner in it with you. And, man are we in it together.  (Love you, honey.) 

How Much is Too Much?

 

 

How much is too much? I spend countless hours reading about melanoma. I know that lots of people find that a tad much. They think that I'm going overboard. However, I find some kind of peace and I really enjoy reading about it. I find a connection to others in reading their stories. It's like a support system in a way. It's different, because you don't actually know the people and they are all over the world. However, the one common thread is melanoma. And, none of them seem to care what stage you are/were. But, boy, do all these people care about each other!

 

I'm always looking for events about melanoma. It's interesting that there aren't that many in Cincinnati. There is an annual run/walk in the spring each year, in memory of Andy Caress. When I found out about it this year, it was just after my surgery. I could not physically walk a 5k at that time due to the pain in my leg. (It was way more than I expected it to be, the recovery took much longer than we thought.) I plan to do the 5k next spring. Melanoma Know More has an annual fundraiser in August. The Sunscreen Squad (which stems from the Andy Caress Foundation) passes out literature and sunscreen at various events, namely the ATP Tennis Tournament in Mason. There were other things that I missed, because they were early in the spring or early in May. I didn't really get on the melanoma bandwagon until May.   I continually look for Cincinnati area events, because I feel like I want to do something. I need to do something. I even wonder if I could put something together? I plan to do some education and awareness at school this year, with hope to initiate a no-tanning homecoming and prom pledge. I want an awareness bracelet and ring. I have found the bracelet I want and am planning to order it- http://www.etsy.com/listing/96175845/black-ribbon-bracelet-9-swarovski?ref=shop_home_active 

 

 

I wonder if all the information I take in is good? Not long ago, my little one wanted to use the iPad (a gift to me from hubby for Christmas, thanks, hon!) for something, and I gave her permission. When she turned it on, she said something like, "Geez, mom, you have like 5 melanoma tabs up!" Should I not be checking all my sites every day? There are lots of people who are clear for many years after their initial run-in with melanoma. Then, it returns like no one's business, bigger and worse than before. We know a man battling Stage 4 melanoma, right now, in our school community. A few years ago, he was free of melanoma.

 

I've only had a few people even say to me that they even view my experience as cancer. Most people, when you say "melanoma" they just nod. They think it's like basal cell or squamous cell. You just get that cut out at the dermatology office, right? I remember telling my mom when I was diagnosed, that my friend I teach with who had cervical cancer and had to undergo a complete hysterectomy to rid her body of the cancer, she had "real" cancer. That same friend has told me numerous times that my cancer is real, too. I do not view myself as a "survivor" because I didn't have to undergo treatments- my cancer was removed very easily.  I actually think it was removed in the initial biopsy. There was no cancer in the huge chunk of skin they took in my surgery. So, it was already gone when they did it, right?

 

And now I face this journey with hubby. It's strange, but I think it gives us one more commonality. We both spent a great deal of time in the sun in our lives. We both grew up with pools in the back yard, and hubby was an avid golfer. Neither of us used sunscreen. I even continued to lie in the sun each summer at the pool into adulthood. OK, let's be honest; up until last summer, 2012. I was at the pool at 10am. My kids had sunscreen on, but I was using tanning oil. Argh! Hubby's grandfather also had melanoma- that is how they found the cancer in his lungs. It had spread there.

 

This makes us concerned for our own children as there is a genetic component to melanoma. Our oncologist says that only about 65% of melanomas are from sun exposure. I've not read that statistic anywhere else- but that is what he told me.

 

Hubby and I  will have similar scars- although hubby thinks his will not be as prominent as mine because of all the Vitamin D he takes. We'll see... He is recovering from surgery #3 since October, on his left hand, currently. The melanoma is on his upper right arm. He has the potential of having 2 bum arms at the same time! But, we will be in it together. I told him today that we will have to take pictures of our scars together- it will be cool. I took pictures of my leg as it healed after my surgery, with little Post-it notes with the date on them stuck to my leg. I just wanted to document the process. I'm sure he will let me do that with his, as well. He also keeps reminding me that it's not a competition, that we will each handle it differently, feel differently, and heal differently. I think that is a big hang up for me. I have about a 5" scar on my thigh. It's a bit keloid (derm thinks she can inject it eventually to help it smooth out at bit...). But, I'm a girl, and I have a big, thick, red, raised scar on my leg. I'm reminded of it a lot. And seeing it reminds me of melanoma.

 

 

I will have to remember that ours was caught early, we are fortunate. We will have to be vigilant from here on out. Most people in similar situations do not ever have any further problems.  We cannot let this consume us (and by that I really mean me, not us; hubby is not consumed by it...). So, where do I draw the line? I know hubby will be putting the majority of this behind him after his surgery, where I try to hold on to it. He knows the facts and once it's cut out and pronounced "clear", he will move on and not dwell on it.

 

We all deal with things differently. I guess there is no right or wrong way to do that. We each have to find our own way.